She's still in there....

Who is still in there, you ask?  Sigh.  The old me.  She came out briefly today before I stuffed her back in.  I know I shouldn't be beating myself up over this but it was a reminder that the old me is still in there and this battle is far from over.  :(

I've always identified with Garfield!  Love my food!

Was at a brunch at church this morning with lots of yummy food.  Stuff I would NEVER make at home anymore--breakfast pizza, hash brown casserole, blueberry bread, donuts, croissants...  All those things I love soooo much!  There was fruit too....and I was going to stick to that....but I didn't.  I found myself filling my plate with a piece of breakfast pizza, hash brown casserole and a mini croissant.  (I ate a lot of fruit too!)  Compared to what I would have eaten in the past, it wasn't that bad.  But compared to my current food intake it was insane!  I don't even want to think about the number of calories in it.  But the worst part?  I made one of the hash brown casseroles and brought home what was left of it.  When I got home I kept taking bites out of it....and craving it....BAD!  I knew if I didn't do something I would eat the rest of it so I ended up putting the dish in the sink and filling it with water.  How sad it is that I didn't have enough will power to stay away from it?  I actually had to make it inedible to keep myself from eating it.

I feel gross.  And I'm mad at myself.  I know it's just one meal....and I am not using it as a reason to binge for the rest of the day.  I am already back on track and making a healthy dinner.  It was just a sad reminder that this is going to be a forever battle....and that I have so far to go.  :(